So: Is your life in balance?

Let’s talk about it.

First, balance is like humility. Once you think you have it? It’s gone. Think of performers you’ve seen: Cirque du Soleil, America’s Got Talent, ice skaters, and the like. They start off in balance…hopefully. But they must continually adjust.

Having your life, marriage, family, work, and ministry in balance is not automatic. What’s more, if you haven’t learned by now, every change requires adjustment. There are second and third-order effects of virtually every decision, from the dreaded (or anticipated) move, to the new puppy, to the (shudder) renovation.

Second, the performers mentioned above have a purpose for their balance. It may be for that next paycheck, or recognition, or a gold medal, but it’s a purpose that motivates them for at least that one performance.

Life coaches encourage us to identify a life purpose, then to break that down into actionable and measurable long-term, intermediate, and short-term goals. You have sets of these for every key area (again, yourself, marriage, family, work, etc.) and refer to them on a regular basis. Part of being in balance includes “de-conflicting” those priorities. But at least thinking them through and writing them down helps keep any area from drifting too far off course.

But for now, here are a couple of thoughts to consider. I hope you’ll respond and add more:

Not everything is a “10.” Don’t swat a Georgia gnat with a sledgehammer.
Sometimes, you are the top priority! This isn’t a license for irresponsibility, but like they say on airline flights, “If the oxygen mask drops because of loss of cabin pressure, put your own mask on first!” That’s not selfish. It’s because if you pass out, you’re no help to anyone! So, sometimes you need to get that nap. Sometimes you and your spouse need to call a sitter and take a break together to strengthen your own relationship. You’ve heard all this before. Do it.
Sometimes, life can be like a three-legged stool. I often used this illustration when I served in a radio ministry: Ministry, Methods, and Motives. All three have to be in balance, or the stool is unstable and leads to a fall. You can use the same concept in your decisions and priorities.
Persevere or Quit? This one’s not so easy. On the one hand, there’s the wise quote by Albert Einstein. He defined insanity as “Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” However, Edison would say, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Sometimes we need to pray for wisdom to know which is which!

I remember when we moved out in the country, there was a great (?) idea about getting goats so I wouldn’t have to mow and weed part of our property. No, we’d never had goats. No one on either side of our families had ever had goats. I wish we had continued that tradition.

Eventually, after an exorbitant effort to build a fence, then an electric fence, then multiple repairs… Well, they got away one last time, and that was that. I think they’re still laughing. I’d say that experience was closer to Einstein’s definition.

So, yes, sometimes the right balance is knowing when to quit. (Experience is learning from that mistake, and wisdom is not repeating it… or anything else like it!)

Another thought on balance? Sometimes, it may not take a whole lot more to make the path a LOT more stable. A little wider platform, a little more to hold onto… you get the idea. See below. Wouldn’t a secure rope on each side, about waist-high, make you feel a lot more secure?

So… what are your thoughts on balance? Any insights you can share?

Here’s some feedback from one of my reviewers:

“I think your spot on about maintaining work life boundaries and heathy relationships with others and with God…but I will say, one of the things I have made myself do over the last 6 months or so is to be more thoughtful and think before acting. I spend a lot of time internally reflecting on things now more than reacting. I have learned a lot about myself in the process and have learned the coping mechanisms I’ve used to mask behaviors or things about myself I wasn’t happy with.

I think that true balance comes from almost letting go and not controlling every aspect of life. It’s hard when you are born innately controlling, 🙂 but my life has felt so much more at peace and balanced since I have begun to allow things to just be and to trust God. I say this because this [current life situation] has been incredibly humbling. I have no control over what happens, and I had to come to that realization pretty quickly, give it to God and be at peace.”

Blessings!

Bill