When is bad news…good? It’s a matter of perspective.
“The car is totaled; but no one was injured.”
“You need surgery; but the cure rate is 100%.”
This blog is primarily about foundations we can build into our lives, principles to help us weather difficult times and live more fulfilling lives.
This often means first tearing down (rip to shreds, haul off, and permanently dispose of!) some bad “foundations.”
If you work on the top floor of a skyscraper, wouldn’t you want each foundational pillar well-engineered and professionally built? Would you listen if someone warned you that one pillar was defective?
Many adults have a seriously defective foundation pillar. You’ve seen it with co-workers and acquaintances. You’ve also seen the devastation it causes. Typically, these people won’t even admit this flaw in their make-up, and instead blame others. Truth? Yeah, looking back, I have to acknowledge I had quite a bit of this problem (God is still working on me).
What is it? Narcissism.
From Wikipedia:
“Narcissism is the pursuit of gratification from vanity or egotistic admiration of one’s own attributes. The term originated from Greek mythology, where the young Narcissus fell in love with his own image reflected in a pool of water…”
How bad is this? Also from Wikipedia:
“Narcissism is also considered a social or cultural problem… usually considered a problem in a person’s or group’s relationships with self and others.”
Wow!
Here’s an excellent article on this that you might want to check out: Eric Barker, June 8, 2017.
On how to deal with a narcissist, Eric says:
- Don’t. Think haunted house. Get out of there to chance you can.
- Kiss Up Or Shut Up. If they’re your boss or they have power over you, fighting makes it worse.
- Know What You Want And Get Payment Up Front. Don’t assume they’ll play fair.
- Ask, “What would people think?” They want to look good. If they think they’ll look bad, they’ll behave.
- Be Dexter. If the dark side of The Force has you, channel your need to look awesome into helping others.
So, are you a narcissist? If you’ve been living a self-absorbed life, how much good has it done to continually seek “happiness?” How many people have you hurt, crushed, and made miserable? Perhaps you are still doing so. In other words:
“…What benefit were you then deriving from the things of which you are now ashamed?” Romans 6:21.
“Okay, I see a lot of myself in all this. What’s the good news you promised??”
The one solution I know is the Christian solution. When you realize what Christ came to do, how He did it, repent of running your own life your way, and receive Him as your Savior? Then, the power of Almighty God helps you tear down the faulty, narcissistic foundation of “self!” Allow God to build a strong, enduring foundation focused on Christ, His kingdom, and serving others. Prayerfully apply such principles as:
- He “…emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” Phil 2: 7, 8
- “But it is not this way with you, but the one who is the greatest among you must become like the youngest, and the leader like the servant.” Luke 22:26
- “So Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you; as the Father has sent Me, I also send you.” John 20:21
Christ is our example. We “lay down” (throw off, mortify) our fleshly (narcissistic) ways, and walk in “newness of life” as a servant, more and more being led by His Spirit.
- “Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.” Galatians 5:24
- “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.” Galatians 2:20
The better way is to follow Christ and His plan for your life. A better, fulfilling life without further regret. With plenty of happiness thrown in as a fringe benefit. Your past? Man- or woman-up and ask forgiveness from those you’ve hurt. Where possible, make restitution. Then, like the Apostle Paul in Philippians 3: 13, 14, “…forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”
Now… that’s a foundation we can live with! (And be a BLESSING to others!)
Blessings!
Bill